A year ago, I was offered a great job opportunity, complete with a title, salary, benefits, flexible hours….the whole package.  Although everything seemed perfect on paper, I knew in my heart that I would never be happy or feel fulfilled in that job.  Either way I went with that decision made me sick to my stomach.  I turned it down without an alternative plan in mind and began a crazy journey of soul searching, determined to figure out what I was meant to do with my life.  In the next 12 months, I conquered my fears of all things technology-related in order to learn how to write a self-hosted blog, went back to college at twice the age of most other college freshmen, aced an Anatomy class, completed my first detox, travelled on an airplane by myself multiple times (another one of my greatest fears), coached a team of girls to run a 5K, learned how to stand on my head on a paddleboard, earned certifications in yoga, PaddleFit and CPR, helped my husband start a stand-up paddleboard company, and otherwise pushed myself physically and mentally farther than I ever thought I was capable of.  Did I end up where I thought I would or where I was planning?  Not at all.

While I was pushing myself further and further outside of my comfort zone, it was often hard to separate out all of the different feelings.  There were highs and lows of course.  But there was always a nagging feeling that the “goal” of where I was headed wasn’t really “right”. One day, I was looking for a funny “Throwback Thursday” photo to post on Instagram.  I was looking through a bag of old photos in the attic that my Nana had given me.  This is the only one I remember seeing in the pile that day.

Me, at 11-years-old, making my very first quilt.

Me, at 11-years-old, making my very first quilt.

For a moment time stood still while I looked at this picture.  I can remember this moment like it was yesterday.  When I look at this picture, I see “happy”.  I put it back in the bag and instead posted an old picture of Darren and I dressing as 1920’s gangsters for a date night out in Chicago! (As a side note, the friend with me in that picture is now a well-known food blogger and cookbook author :)  )

One Sunday night a few weeks later, I received my “Weekly Dharma” from Caren Baginski’s popular yoga blog.  The timing was rather ironic.  While reading Caren’s post about looking to your childhood for clues to your purpose in life, it became clear as day to me.  That picture I had found and her blog post went hand-in-hand.  I closed down my computer and sat there in the dark trying to figure out how I was going to do a complete 180 on where I was headed.  But the funny thing is I don’t really feel like I had to do too much at all.  I simply put the thought out there, and assumed that it would happen if it was meant to be (that is yoga teacher training coming into play right there!).

Within the span of about 6 weeks I went from my holistic nutrition finals to opening the doors of my new business teaching people how to sew.  I think its safe to say that based on the way things unfolded, it was meant to be!

I thought about re-writing my “About Me” page and trying to somehow work this blog into a mix of healthy recipes and craft ideas.  But for now, I like the blog the way that it is as a record of my journey.  I definitely do not regret any of the decisions I have made or the experiences I’ve had over the past year.  I draw on those experiences on an almost daily basis….from dealing with a technology glitch to deep breaths to get through a stressful moment to prepping oatmeal bars to grab for breakfast for another crazy busy week.  I truly believe that no education or experience in life is ever a waste.  They are all just part of the journey.

A friend recently sent me this quote:

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.  So throw off the bowlines.  Sail away from the safe harbor.  Catch the trade winds in your sails.  Explore.  Dream. Discover.   -Mark Twain

For now, my journey as a holistic nutrition-loving food blogger has ended.  I will keep the blog up and running since it has all of my favorite recipes on it, but I will not be posting anything new.  If you are curious what I am up to, you can find me here.

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